Original in Spanish: Existe un foro amable no moderado en internet
Following a very interesting conversation with Y., a doubt has come up, and if you can’t help me, I don’t know who will be able to get me out of this one…
DOES ANYONE KNOW OF A KIND FORUM ON THE INTERNET THAT IS NOT MODERATED AND WHERE NOBODY IS EXCLUDED?
A link will do.
If you give me an example showing that exclusion is not necessary for peace, you’ll make my day.
********** Extended version, only for those who want to read it
We all know Twitter is a breeding ground for insults and hate. We all know it’s a tool that for some reason invites aggression toward others. Possible factors that make it happen:
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Short messages. Even reading full threads it’s very hard to get the context.
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The ease and immediacy don’t invite reflection. Your amygdala fires and you jump at the jugular before counting to 10. If you stop to think before answering, that tweet has already expired.
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It’s the internet, we don’t see each other’s faces, you don’t see the person on the other side.
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Lots of anonymity. On Twitter it’s easy to be an avatar going in for the kill against a public figure, for example.
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Many people on Twitter are just there to vent, so sometimes it’s hard to distinguish between constructive criticism, criticism meant to make others reflect, direct attacks meant to punish, or venting because what I need is a punching bag and your feelings can get stuffed.
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It has drifted toward all of that and by now it’s simply “the culture of the place”.
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It’s very public; there are no groups where you tweet only to your bubble, where people know you and will understand your real intentions. It’s very easy for a tweet from someone who isn’t your kind, or a total stranger, to reach you, and in one click you can spit in their face the 4 things those 165 characters inspire in you.
Which led me to think about which places on the internet are kind, and I’ve noticed certain common features:
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They’re places where the participants themselves self-censor. You think things through before saying them in case they might hurt.
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Criticism is generally constructive. If someone calls you out or corrects a blunder, you presume good intent from whoever warns you your fly is down. Sometimes the aggressiveness exists only in the eyes of whoever receives the criticism. The presumed tone is debate, not quarrel.
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Discussions get closed; greys exist. Even on sensitive topics of the “what you’re saying is racist/machista/whatever” kind, you can back down with dignity. You can say “oh okay, I had misunderstood you”, or “damn, you’re right, I had it wrong”, or “in the end your thing was less machista than it seemed to me” without it being shameful for you or your family or costing you your job. They’re places where you can change your mind and apologize however it comes out, without feeling you’re stepping on a minefield.
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Some have an uncensored alternative. The equivalent of “taking the fight outside the bar” while respecting the peace of the venue. There’s the option of “arguing in private” even if you don’t know the person at all. If the argument happens in the group, interventions are there to help argue, not to make clear which side everyone is on.
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Some have lots and lots of hate to give, but only outward.
But what really worries me is that:
THE TRULY KIND PLACES ARE A BUBBLE WHERE YOU LEAVE “THE OTHERS” OUTSIDE.
They’re always environments “moderated” one way or another, where those who don’t belong to the tribe are excluded. Whether because it’s a .onion you’ll never reach unless you search for certain things, or because they work by circle of trust (someone invites and “vouches for” someone), or because the topic is so specialized that not just anyone walks in, or because you declare yourself whatever, or because you passed some initiation rite… I’m not saying exclusion is sufficient, but it’s starting to look to me like EXCLUSION IS NECESSARY.
For the record, I’m a big fan of free speech, I enjoy unmoderated environments, and I especially like that NOBODY is excluded (capitals intended: when I say “nobody” I mean not even excluding Trump).
So having reached this point, and after the wall of text, I ask.
DOES ANYONE KNOW OF A KIND FORUM ON THE INTERNET THAT IS NOT MODERATED AND WHERE NOBODY IS EXCLUDED?
Because if you give me an example showing that exclusion is not necessary for peace, you’ll make my day.
(Facebook, 2020-06-11)