Original in Spanish: María Cristina me quiere gobernar
So it turns out that Cuban party song, “María Cristina me quiere gobernar”, refers to María Cristina de Borbón-Dos Sicilias.
Besides inspiring cheeky songs, María Cristina cheated on Fernando VII, who apparently everyone knew was an old man with a very big one. For some reason the size of kings back then was semi-public knowledge. The story goes that one day, coming back to bed, a maid asked the queen whether bedding the other man was worth it and María Cristina answered that the other one “ALSO HAD A GOOD TRANCAZO”; the king happened to overhear that last part and asked what she meant, she answered that in the other household that’s what they called colds, and the king’s doctor heard it and didn’t deny it, so the expression became a smash hit. I imagine if both had had a very small one we would be calling colds something else.
And now, whenever I pass the station in front of the Corte Inglés on Diagonal, next to the tower of Mordor where the other Bourbon lady used to work, I will no longer think about signing things without reading them, I will think about Cubans and dicks.
“María Cristina me quiere gobernar, y yo le sigo, le sigo la corriente, porque no quiero que diga la gente que María Cristina me quiere gobernar…”
https://elhistoricon.blogspot.com/2018/04/maria-cristina-me-quiere-gobernar.html
Gracias M. por mejorar mi existencia.
(Facebook, 2019-02-09)